10.25.2008

Laodicean Hymn Book

I will now interrupt this negative blog with this humourous list from the Laodicean Hymnal.
By the way, the younger generation will not catch onto these since hymns are not sung in most churches anymore….

The Laodicean church is described in the Bible in the book of The Revelation as being lukewarm. If the Laodiceans were to have a hymnal, suitable for their conviction, here's a list of some of the hymns it may contain:

A Comfy Mattress Is Our God

Above Average Is Thy Faithfulness

According to the Suggestions Made in Your Word

All Creatures of Our Friend and Buddy

All Hail the Influence of Jesus' Name

All My Mistakes are Gone

Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound

And Can It Be That I Should Gain Interest

Be Thou My Hobby

Blessed Hunch

Blessed Insurance

Fill My Spoon, Lord

Give What You Don't Want To the Master

God is Our Excuse and Our Alibi

Good Christian Persons, Try To Smile

Hail, Jesus, You're My Acquaintance

Have My Own Way, Lord

He Pardoned My Mistakes

He's Quite a Bit to Me

How Above Average is Your Name

I Lay My Inappropriate Behaviors on Jesus

I Love to Talk about Telling the Story

I Am Standing In the Vicinity of the Word of God

I Bring Thee Some

I Kind Of Believe the Bible

I Need Thee Every Year or So

I Surrender Some

I Will Make an Effort Not To Forget Thee

I'm Fairly Certain That My Redeemer Lives

Just as I Am, with Lots of Excuses

Just as I Pretend to Be

My Hope Is Built on Nothing Much

Not My Life - Let Me Be

O Come Let Us Ignore Him.

O God, Our Enabler in Ages Past

Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing

Oh, How I Like Jesus

Pretend To Be a Daniel

Praise God from Whom All Affirmations Flow

Take My Life and Let Me Be

Were You Somewhere In the Vicinity?

What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus

What Can Wash Away My Errors in Judgment?

What Wondrous Liking is This?

When Peace, like a Trickle

When the Saints Go Sneaking In

Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
Those are just a few of the better ones from the list that I found here:
http://www.jokesclean.com/ChristianJokes/index.php

We will now return to the usual serious gloomy blogging.

2 comments:

Janie said...

This is sadly hilarious but oh so true!

carla said...

Ya, one of those too sad to laugh at things, isn't it?